Well friends, I planned on doing this blog post as a “5 months til the big day wedding update” with vendors, where we are in the planning process, and all that fun stuff. But, coronavirus.
I want to preface this blog post by saying I know we are extremely lucky. So many people that I know have had to cancel/postpone their spring weddings and my heart breaks for them! We are not at that point yet, but I think it’s safe to say that there is SO much unknown, and every bride getting married this year is kind of freaking out. Virtually sending hugs (and wine) to anyone who has already had to make these really hard decisions.
When we set our fall of 2020 wedding date back in January of 2019, we never would have seen this coming! As dramatic as it may sound, the last month has been such a rollercoaster of emotions.
Where am I now? Honestly, kind of mad! Mad isn’t quite the right word, but let’s go with it. I’m mad that when I now tell people I’m getting married this year they feel sorry for me- instead of saying ‘congrats how exciting!”. That’s childish of me, I know. But it’s a crappy feeling.
I’m mad that everyone has an opinion on what we should do- yet no one really knows the right answer. Can someone just secretly tell all the 2020 brides what the future holds?! We will keep it to ourselves, we promise 😉
I’m mad that the months leading up to our wedding feel “tainted’ by the uncertainty and stress of this virus and what the next 5 months will look like. I’m sad for my friends getting married before me, and mad that we can’t spend these next few months in our bubble of almost married joy and bliss this summer!
I’m mad that the next few months seem to have a cloud hanging over them, when they should have been spent at bridal showers for some of my closest friends and myself, flights to bachelorette parties, and shopping for numerous white dresses for all the fun occasions.
But, some things I need to remind myself of:
- I am marrying the love of my life, either way! It may not be in 2020, but it will still happen! That in itself makes this all worth it. I’d go through this all again and again if the end result was marrying Justin!
- Our wedding will look the way I’ve always dreamed of, regardless of the date. For some reason I have to keep reminding myself that our wedding will literally be the exact same event even if it happens next year. We’ve decided that if our original date doesn’t work, we will wait until we can do the full out thing we planned rather than do a smaller version, and that brings me a lot of peace.
- Honestly, as of right now I’m not as worried about the actual wedding date as I am the things leading up to it like the shower and bachelorette party. I know this isn’t what getting married is all about, but these are precious, joy filled memories I was so looking forward to sharing with my favorite people. I have to remind myself that if they can’t happen when they are originally planned to, I’ll still get those memories. They will happen before our new wedding date, if it comes down to that. We won’t just totally forget about these things and never do them.
- LITERALLY NO ONE KNOWS WHAT’S HAPPENING OR WHEN IT WILL END OR WHAT’S GOING ON. No explanation needed lol
Again, if I’m being super transparent, I have the most anxiety about these next few months being tainted by the coronavirus cloud of doom. But… I have come to realize no one can taint that unless I let it.
If I can walk through the next five months, happy, filled with joy to marry the love of my life, filled with hope and light- nothing can take that away. I really am in control of what our attitude can be like leading up to this experience, and I am now determined to walk through the next 5 months full of hope and joy.
What’s the worst case? I walk through this time with hope & joy, and have to reschedule? Fine! We will still get our day and I saved myself a LOT of stress and sadness 🙂
What’s the best case? I walk through this time with hope & joy and get to marry my future husband as planned? AMAZING. We proved our strength and didn’t taint our experience by giving into fear and anxiety.
Either way, it’s a win! Either way, memories will be made with my best friends, my family, and Justin!
Imagine this: I give into the fear and anxiety and spend the next 5 months a ball of stress, bad moods, and tears (aka my last week lol)… and THEN our original planned date works out? I will be so, so mad at myself that I didn’t fully enjoy those months and that ME and ONLY me, tainted those memories.
So friends, and 2020 Brides, I FREAKING FEEL YOU. Here’s to raising a virtual glass of wine, and filling the rest of our year with hope, joy, and positive vibes. WE. GOT. THIS. If anyone is set up for a long happy marriage, it’s couples planning a wedding during COVID-19 😉